Changes

This post isn't about Little J, per se, but it is a big part of his journey.  Jayson has been an only child for 3 years, with no immediate plan for siblings.  Due to his genetic condition and the good chance that Mike's or my genes caused his syndrome, we have decided not to have more of our own children, until we know for sure.  We have been interested in adoption, but it is expensive and the timing hasn't been right.  We have had meetings with Foster care, and that didn't feel right at all.  So we have been happy with our small little family.  Little did we know that there was a big change in store and that Jayson would soon have a brotherly figure in his life.

Meet 5 year old Chance.

I taught this crazy, rambunctious munchkin when he was in my kindergarten class, 8 years ago.  Honestly, he gave me a run for my money.  He was being switched to my class from another teacher's classroom, and I had only been teaching a couple of months when he arrived.  Our first encounter was a lovely one.  This little boy was extremely frustrated.  He was non-verbal, and had created his own language that none of us understood.  There was one word, however, that he said very clearly.  Unfortunately, it is the word that is least appropriate to write.  It was that word that he said out loud that first day we met as he entered in my classroom in a restraint hold by the principal.  As I came to meet him, he spit in my face, broke loose of his grasp, hit me in the face and kicked me in the shin.

It was love at first sight.  I am not joking.

Chance is not that boy anymore.  Not even close, but that is where our story began.  He was in my class just a couple of months before he disappeared.  At that time, Mike and I were dating and it was at this very time that I fell hopelessly in love with my future husband.  We hit the streets of Las Vegas, looking and looking for Chance's family.  I talked to people who gave me leads.  Eventually, I was able to call a homeless shelter and explain the situation and get a note sent to their family letting them know I was looking for them and wanted to help.  Chance's mom called us.  We went for visits there, over the next few weeks.  Mike grew to love that family as much as I did.  We supported them as they went through one of the biggest challenges of their lives.  We grew very close, and soon were able to celebrate with them when they were able to get into some housing.  From that point on, we were family.  All of us.  We babysit their five kids while they went to dinner or a concert.  We helped them with homework, Mike taught some of them guitar, and we encouraged the oldest to graduate and go to college.  In exchange, they were my family away from home, and taught me a lot.

That late-spring/early-summer they moved to Oregon to be closer to family.  Mike and I went to breakfast with them that morning and saw them off as they began their journey north across the country.

That's where my story ends, but where Chance's personal story begins.

The next 8 years, Chance and I kept in touch.  This boy called me at least every two weeks for the past 8 years.  At first it was difficult to talk, because of his language restrictions, but as he got older it became easier to understand him. He never said much, but it meant the world to me to talk to him.  There were times in which he would call me daily, and other times when life got crazy it was every couple of weeks.  But I have been so grateful that we have never lost track of each other.

The past 8 years haven't been easy for Chance, nor for his family.  Their lives have improved and stabilized, but there have been some ups and downs.  That, unfortunately, is not my story to tell.  That is Chance's story, and one he will likely never divulge.

The past couple of years I have desperately desired to bring Chance to Utah for the summer.  He was doing well in school and had good behavior and I felt he deserved the reward.  His mom was totally in support of the idea, but unfortunately due to Jayson's health complications and the lack of funds to bring him out due to medical bills, it was nothing but an empty promise.  This current school year has proved to be a particularly challenging one for Chance, and it had very little to do with school.  He has gone through more this past few months than anyone ever should.  Mike and I have done a lot of talking since November, and he and I found ourselves on the same page.  It was time.  We needed to do whatever necessary to bring Chance out here.

Then we got J's new diagnosis.  We found ourselves consumed, once again, with medical jargon and living in survival mode.  Once the dust settled, Mike and I again began discussing the possibility of bring Chance to Utah for a while.  We talked with his mother and she seemed relieved.  She had been working tirelessly to try and help Chance and to give him new opportunities.  She literally had tried everything, as any dedicated mother would.  She desperately wanted him to be happy, and thought this might be the change that could help him.  We were not certain on timing, however, as he had just settled into a new school.  His mom thought it would be best if we waited until summer.  So that was the plan.

But then I got a message from Chance.  He asked if he could please come out to Utah, now.  That was just two weeks before Jayson's second cranial surgery.  I talked to his mother, and she said he was very unhappy and things were getting bad again.  We moved fast, but I didn't know that I could get everything in order.  I wanted him here before Alpine School District's spring break, so that he would have enough time in school here to make it worth it.  God opened doors for us.  Everything fell into place.  Before we knew it, we had a date set, and Chance was being picked up just a couple of days after Jayson's surgery.  It was craziness, seriously more than we could even bear.  But it felt right, all of it felt 100% right.  So we moved forward and everything has gone smoothly, which confirmed to us it was the right thing.

Chance has been here 5 days now, and it has been perfect.  I had a lot of fears and reservations.  The last time I had seen this child was when he was 5 years old, and he wasn't exactly easy!!  I know nothing about raising teenagers!  I had no idea what to expect!  But it has been fairly easy, honestly.  I have been very guided by the spirit, and God is leading me through this every step of the way.  I haven't been on a spiritual high like this for a very, very long time.  I am not alone, and this was definitely the right thing for all of us.

I love this boy, so very much.  I am blessed and privileged to have him in my home, bettering me and teaching me.  He has brought me such joy the past few days, and although I know we're in the "honeymoon period" I think he will continue to do so.  I am so grateful for his mother, who I also love and adore, for allowing me to help and entrusting her son in my care.  It takes a village to raise a child.  It really does.

We have had so much love and support from our local friends, family and community as well.  They are now a part of the village that will play a part in raising this boy, and I am forever grateful for their love, support and kindness.

Some have asked how long Chance will stay?  The answer is we don't know.  My answer to him is as long as he and the rest of us are all happy.  Right now, we are all happy.  His mom and I have signed a 6-month temporary guardianship Power of Attorney agreement.  If he stays beyond that, we will go from there.

Some have asked, what are you thinking?  Isn't your life chaotic enough?
To them I say, "Yes, yes it is."  That is precisely why we wanted this.  We wanted normalcy, something to balance out the chaos and the medical world we are so consumed in.  We want to go to school functions, ball games, and events.  We want to do homework and have important conversations about the future.  We have the capacity to love, and this family has allowed us to love them for a long time now.  We now have the opportunity to give Chance more one-on-one attention which may help him make a better future for himself.  We also have the opportunity to give Jayson a brotherly figure in his life.  I can't stress how important this is to me, to us.  It has touched my heart so much to see the way Jayson looks at Chance.  He studies him, and he admires him already.  When we were about to pick Chance up, I realized that I had never talked to Jayson to see what he thought about the idea.  He was playing with his Fisher Price farm when I talked to him about Chance, and he stopped his playing, looked up at me and made complete eye contact.  Then, he smiled.  He maintained eye contact for several seconds before returning to play.  That was a huge sign for me.  He was on board, and he desperately wanted an older "brother" to play with.

Although the quick preparations were stressful, having Chance here does not bring more stress into our lives.  In fact, it's the opposite.  I am overflowing with JOY.  The spirit is so strong, and we are feeling very close as a family right now.  We are glad Chance gets to be a part of it, regardless of how long that may be.

So there is the story of Chance, a big part of Little J's Journey and a big part of our lives.  We are excited to see what the future holds, because honestly, you just never know what God has in store.  I do know, however, that when we follow His council and His will, He will provide a way... every time.